Suck My Balls
by BlackLicoriceLipstick
Summary: This is what happens when a few capitals use some rather...inappropriate words in class. Hopefully it came out well! South Park parody!


A/N: First off, I know I need to update my other story. But, alas, I have writer's block . Anyway, this is basically what happens when a bored Hetalian watches South Park. Enjoy...p.s. OCs galore! *Warning: Rated PG-13 for language and boyish attitude* **Please Review!**

Human Names: Paris= Adrienne; Ottawa= Melanie; DC= Jacob; London=Alistair

Paris' POV:

I sigh impatiently and tap my pencil on my desk. Seriously, whoever thought it was a good idea to put a bunch of Capitals in one place together for seven hours a day was terribly disturbed. I sigh again, this time quieter, and push some of my long blonde hair out of my face where it had previously fallen, waiting for class to just start. Where the hell is the teacher?! It's not that I'm particularly eager for class to start, but I'd like it if everyone would shut up.

Seriously, I think the only person besides me who is not arguing with someone or making some huge spectacle is Ottawa. Then again, she barely says anything at all. Though, I do understand. If Washington, DC was my cousin, I wouldn't say much either. It's impossible to get a word in with that guy around, especially since the bulk of what he does is fighting with London. Seriously, why do I even hang out with those guys? Oh yeah, they're my only friends.

"All right, all right! Take your seats!" my thoughts are interrupted by the door opening and our math teacher, Mr. Austria, entering the classroom. Everybody immediately sits down in their seats to keep from being yelled at. Seriously, that guy is a dick when he is angry. "Stop talking!" he shouts, causing everyone to instantly shut the hell up. Finally… "Let's start off with some basic math problems. What is 5*2?" nobody raises their hand. Man, we really are the laziest kids in the world. "Come on children, don't be shy. Just give it your best shot." he says to us as if we are eight years old as opposed to fifteen.

Everyone turns their head to look when the slight scraping of a chair is heard, meaning that someone has raised their hand rather enthusiastically. Gee, I wonder who that could be…

"Yes, Rome…"

"Twelve?" he guesses with a dumb smile on his equally dumb looking face. At this, our teacher's face visibly falls into one of irritation and disgruntlement.

"Okay, now let's try to get an answer from someone who's not a complete retard." he says, completely oblivious to the fact that that word is no longer considered 'politically correct'. Maybe he just doesn't care. Though Rome is too dense to even realize that he has just been insulted' anyway. "Anyone? Come on, don't be shy."

"I think I know the answer, Mr. Edelstein." London blurts out without raising his hand.

"Myeh-myeh-myeh-myeh-myeh-myeh-myeh-myeh!" DC mocks him, trying to get a few laughs out of the people sitting around us, though he gets none. I will, however, admit that it is taking all of my inner strength not to laugh at this. DC mocking London really is one of the only things that can make me laugh. Mostly because London looks so adorable when he gets all angry. Oh god, I did not just say that!

"Shut up, fat boy!" London snaps at DC angrily, using his trademark nickname for DC even though DC is not even fat. Though, with how much he eats he really should be.

"Hey! Don't call me fat you fucking Brit!" DC snaps back in an uncharacteristically serious manner.

"Jacob! Did you just say the 'F' word?" Mr. Austria asks from the front of the classroom, using his first name to show that he is not amused.

"Brit?" DC inquires stupidly. I mean really, that word does not even start with 'F'. That boy instantly shatters the illusion that people with glasses are intelligent.

"No, he's talking about 'fuck'" replies London "You can't say 'fuck' in school you fucking fatass." this makes me giggle a bit. He does not even realize that he just said 'fuck' twice!

"Alistair!" the teacher yells warningly.

"Why the fuck not?!" DC asks London with his voice still raised, totally ignoring the teacher's increasingly furious glare.

"Jacob!" Seriously, these two are ridiculous! Shouldn't somebody point out that they are royally screwing themselves here? I guess it's up to me. They're my friends whether I like it or not.

"Dude, you just said 'Fuck' again." I blurt out to London. Holy shit, I just said it too now didn't I? Oh well, I guess there's no point censoring anything now.

"Adrienne!" Austria shouts in my direction, but this does not bother me. I'm not scared of that guy!

"…Fuck…" is heard just barely audibly from the back of the classroom.

"Melanie!" he yells at Ottawa, now totally livid. Ottawa opens her mouth to say something once and she comes up with THAT little gem?!

"What's the big deal, it doesn't hurt anybody." DC asks, completely calm. "Fuck-fuckity-fuck-fuck-fuck!" he chants defiantly.

"How would you like to go see the school principal?!" Mr. Austria warns him, it is clear that he has had enough of this nonsense.

"How would you like to suck my balls?" DC counters nonchalantly. At this, everyone gasps loudly, excluding London and Ottawa and myself. This kind of language is in our everyday vocabulary so none of us are surprised. I swear we probably curse in front of each other more than we use actual words.

"What did you say?!" Mr. Austria screams, now clearly past his breaking point.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." He replies sarcastically "Actually, what I said was…" he pulls the megaphone that he uses to broadcast his 'hero voice' out of his backpack and turns it on, causing quite a bit of feedback. "…How would you like to suck my balls, Mr. Edelstein?!" the teacher does not even respond, his face now a contortion of anger and shock all in one. I'm not sure he even realizes that his mouth is wide open and his face is completely red. We're going to get it now.

"Holy shit, dude…" I say to no one in particular.


End file.
